I loathe this whole gender specific toy stigma-Toys do not make kids "gay"

Over the past few years I have been a mother I have be sickened by parents and non parents who voice their very loud opinion that boys should play with certain toys and girls should play with others. In my opinion, (children) should be able to play with whatever toy they want to play with. When my sisters and I were kids yes, we played with Barbies, but we also played with Ewoks, Lego's and we played cops and robbers for hours with our cousins. My parents were never worried that we would be "confused" with our gender or sexuality when we played with army guys with the boys up the street or played in the mud with all the neighborhood kids. We were simply being imaginative and kids for God's sake. We played with any toy we wanted and dressed up like G I Joe, Darth Vader and Strawberry Shortcake.

There have been articles after articles about parents who get shit and slack from other parents about their children who play with the opposite genders toys and about little boys who play dress up as a girl. Who the fuck cares what someone elses kid does. I know for sure that I would not care if my toddler/young kid wants to play a reverse gender role or play with the other genders media designated toys. Back in November my friend Mandy blogged about a little boy who dressed up as Daphne for Halloween. His favorite cartoon was Scooby Doo and he had dressed up like Scooby in years past. He was 5 years old and in preschool and got SO much flack about his costume from other parents. Those parents in the child's classroom gave the mother a hard time when they arrived. What kind of parent finds it necessary to make fun of and ridicule a preschooler? He is 5! Let him be creative and dress who he wants to for Halloween. It is not like he thinks he is a girl or wants to get rid of his penis, he simply wanted to show enthusiasm for his favorite cartoon! She has gotten over 45,000 comments on her blog in 2 months. Some mean, some supportive but nonetheless, it is crazy what some of these people had to say about her sweet (5 yr old) boy. I would let Devin do the same and back him up all the way. Boys up until college dressed up like girls for Halloween with fake boobies and all. No one thought they were going to be confused or whatever. It was Halloween. Dress who you want to dress as. My mom made me dress up like a dinosaur one year. Yes a 4/5 year old dinosaur. I hated her. My friends were hula girls, Strawberry shortcakes, Minnie Mouses....I was a dinosaur with a green face. (Maybe she was trying to Tomboy me up.) Pic to follow.

Today there is an article on AOL should boys have play kitchens ? Why not? I know Frank was hesitant to get Devin a kitchen when we did. Devin was 19 months old when we bought him his first Step 2 play kitchen. It was not pink and frilly but it was a play kitchen nonetheless. Frank said that we can get it for him since I was 7 mo pregnant with his sister.  I would have got it regardless because boys cook too. Not really in our house since I am a stay at home mom/cook/cleaning lady, but in duel working income houses and even in other situations. Daddies cook too, so why can't a little boy? Here is a pic of Devin playing in his kitchen wearing a pair of Riley's newborn sized pink pants. Did I care that he put the on? NO, I thought it was funny and I let him wear anything of hers that he wanted to. He was only 21 months when she was born. I think this was taken within the first month. Below is a picture from his second birthday so you can see the kitchen was placed right outside our kitchen so he could cook when I did. We later moved it upstairs to the playroom once Riley got a little bigger.

We then upgraded to a Step 2 Walk in kitchen for Christmas of 2009 for them. That way they could both play in the kitchen at the same time and friends could join in as well. He also was a chef for Halloween by his choice. Just last night he and his friend Cash played Chef and they both had oven mitts on and chef hats. Devin wore an apron and Cash baked the cookies.

I am thankful we have a play kitchen. The kids play in it everyday. This year we got them a Melissa and Doug shopping cart and grocery store . We also got a table and chair set for the playroom. A cash register was added to the mix the week after Christmas since Devin could not go to the supermarket without a cash register. He was right! He and Frank play 'grocery store man' at least 4 days a week. Frank will go to the market and Devin rings him up. They go to the kitchen, cook food and then sit at the table and eat. This invites role playing, creative thinking and good ol' fashioned child's play. Almost all of our friends who have kids have kitchens. Some of those family's only have boys, and yes they have play kitchens and the boys play together. I do not know why some moms think we are setting up our boys to have gender confusion and sexuality challenges? What about all those Iron Chefs? Cat Cora is the only girl while the rest are boys. I think they are pretty masculine?! Tyler Florence, Guy Fieri, Alton Brown, Robert Irvine......I bet their mothers or peers do not make fun of them for working in a kitchen?!

As far as playing dress up in cross gender stuff. Again, who cares? I do not care when Devin wears butterfly wings or a pettiskirt. I wont care if Riley wears stuff of Devin's. They are playing and being creative. I think that is so much better than sitting in front of the TV. Let their imaginations roll. We watched a show called "What would you do?" the other night. They had an actor team of dad and son go into a toy store and the son insists on a barbie doll to bring home. The "dad" refused and would ask other people around what they thought. Most said who cares, buy him the doll. It seemed the only ones that gave him a hard time was another man. Figures, that they would make the remark about boys should play with 'boy' toys. This child was about 6 years old. So what if he wants a Barbie. Again, it is not like he is saying he wants to be a girl and cut off his penis. The other man said he would become gay.

When I grew up in the 80's parents were much more relaxed about this issue and the whole term of being "gay" was not really open like it is now. A girl playing with boy toys or visa versa does not make a child gay. Nothing makes a child gay in my mind. And what the hell does it matter if your kid is anyway? I know I would not love my kid any different, nor would I be disappointed like most narrow minded parents say they will be. That child is yours to love regardless of his or hers decisions with whom they want to love. Playing with a G I Joe figure as a 8 year old girl is not going to swing you that way nor is a boy playing in a play kitchen. Why is this negative stigma with cross gender role play so negative? UGH.